“Trust in the LORD with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And he will make your paths straight.”
Proverbs 3:5-6
But what if the path doesn’t feel straight?
This is the question I’ve been wrestling with this past weekend. In the last 5 years it seems that my life has been categorized in themes and words.
Love, for when I fell in love with Max and learned what it meant to love not just with feelings but also with actions and by choosing to love. Joy, for when I was pregnant with our first child. It was during one of the most painful and heart wrenching times in my life that God gave me a child; incredible joy in the midst of incredible sadness. The last theme or word has been trust.
This word was given to me when I found out I was pregnant with our second child, Arrow. We had recently returned from our first trip to Oroville, CA where we attended my cousin Lisa’s wedding. This was the beginning of God nudging our hearts towards a new adventure and Him leading us on this life-changing journey. I felt the Lord telling me to trust Him in our uncertain future and in bringing a child into our family when we didn’t know what was in store for us.
Max and I have again and again had to take a step back and remember that the plans we have are not truly our plans and that God is in control. It seems that the major details of the journey have remained the same but the smaller details have continually changed.
When we arrived in Colorado on April 4, 2018 we were without a car due to complications importing our SUV. We bought a 2006 Subaru Outback less than a week later and Max began driving for Uber and Lyft. We were so excited to have this car and also for Max to be able to drive for both these companies. This past Saturday as we were enjoying some family time, we felt our car lurch and we were unable to drive it properly. The engine blew. This really has felt like a punch to the gut. Everything was finally working out, we had a great car, Max’s job was going well, and we were finding our rhythms. Then this.
I asked Max that evening, “Are we doing something wrong? Are we not trusting and acknowledging God in the things we are doing? Why doesn’t our path feel straight?” He reminded me that though God is leading us, that doesn’t mean the path is easy. Straight paths can be hard ones too.
Although we are excited to see what God has in store for us and know that His plan is good, there have been a lot of challenges and roadblocks along the way. There are times when I have become very discouraged. I’ve wondered why God doesn’t make it easy and take away all the difficult things the minute we say yes to Him. However, my trust in Him and in His faithfulness is bigger than the momentary disappointments I feel. Time and time again we have seen His provision, His love, and His faithfulness dominate all the difficult things in this journey He has called us to.
In spite of this bump in the road we have been thoroughly enjoying our Sabbatical. It has been so much fun to reconnect with Max’s family. Our girls have adjusted well and love the weather and the abundance of parks here. The girls and I have a daily routine of going to a park or indoor play place in the mornings depending on the weather. I make it my goal to connect with at least one other mom at the park each time I go. Its fun to connect with other moms even if I won’t see them again. Max is enjoying his job with Uber and Lyft. It’s been awesome for him to be able to make his own hours. We’ve felt the Lord’s favour with the success Max has had with his job. In all things, the good and the bad, we are thankful.
If you like to pray and would like to pray for us and praise God on our behalf here are some things to keep in mind.
Praise:
Max’s job is going well
The girls have adjusted well
We have experienced the Lord’s provision
Prayer Requests:
Protection and health over our us and our girls
No more car trouble
Sherayah’s Spouse Visa would be ready for September
